This story will be somewhat disgusting to many.
Written for a good friend. Samuel Pepys is the gift that keeps on giving for historical kink fans, owing to his love of writing in his diary about himself shitting, pissing, puking, smelling bad and other things. And in great detail too. Centuries before Amber Heard shit in bed, Pepys was shitting in someone else’s fireplace.
“I’ve had enough Samuel,” Elizabeth Pepys said one evening. “You are hereby banished from the marriage bed until you wash yourself.”
“What are you chunnering about, woman? I don’t smell as foul as you claim!” He scratched his arse as he said this, letting out a pungent fart.
“I went to a public bathhouse yesterday and I urge you to do the same. To wallow in one’s own filth is quite possibly a sin.”
Pepys was more than familiar with sin. He sinned almost every day – whether it was wanking during a church service, drinking too much, groping women or having erotic dreams about the King’s mistresses. He had an interest in over twenty women who weren’t his wife. Most of the time, this interest was opportunistic. He enjoyed fondling his servants as they combed his hair, or would coax a neighbour’s daughter into a closet after dinner.
“It is because of your foul miasma that the servant girl Mercer hath run away!” Pepys’ long-suffering wife continued.
“Nonsense,” He replied. “She’s gone to care for her ailing maiden aunt for a few weeks. She’ll be back. Besides, we’ve got that new girl Nancy to help out.”
In truth, Mercer was no doubt relieved to have escaped Pepys’ wandering hands as well as his body odour.
Elizabeth muttered something to herself. “She’s a useless article! Dishonest, and she drinks. But good domestic help be impossible bilecik escort to find at such short notice.”
With that, she turned and headed up to the bedchamber, slammed the door and locked it. Pepys just shrugged, and farted again.
The new servant girl by the name of Nancy had been quietly observing Pepys with much interest. He certainly had a deep musky stench, it was evident that he didn’t clean himself downstairs either.
“Bless my soul – I can smell ye from over a mile, Master Pepys!” Nancy brazenly exclaimed. Whereas Mercer had been a timid and obedient servant, this new one was nothing of the sort.
“Watch your tongue, girl.” Pepys warned. “I’ve had servants whipped for less than that.”
“Nay sir, it be a compliment. Before you whip me, perhaps you’d allow me to clean you up?”
Her confidence both alarmed and excited him. Pepys was not a man whose attentions were willingly sought by women.
He glared lecherously at her. The girl was nineteen and wasn’t bad looking – well her face was a tad pock mocked and her teeth were rotten. To be expected of someone of lowly birth, with the air of poverty hanging about her. A few greasy strands of brown hair escaped her mobcap.
“You’re a bold one. Maybe too bold.”
“I says and does what I likes,” Nancy said, ignoring his warning. “As do you, I expect. I bet yer the wickedest man in England! I sees how your wife treats ye. She probably knows of your other women. That why she don’t like me much either?”
“Never mind her, what do you mean by cleaning me up?”
Nancy gave him a mischievous grin as she took him by the hand and led him into the small closet. “I’m known as a dirty girl. I likes cheese.”
Pepys manisa escort was confused. “What’s dirty about liking that? There’s plenty of cheese in the larder. And damn, how I wish I could remember where I buried that Parmesan during the Great Fire…”
“Oh Master Pepys. I ain’t talking about cheese that’s kept in the larder. You’ll see.” She began unbuttoning his stinking, piss-stained breeches, exposing crusty pubes and was hit with a wave of pungent musk. Pepys was about to say something, but decided against it. Good God, what an eager soul – and he didn’t even have to offer her money! He’d financially helped a lot of his conquests, in return for sexual favours. This was almost too good to be true, and even if it was, Pepys wasn’t going to resist.
It had been a while since Nancy had been intimate with someone who had such a pungent body odour, so this was a real treat. Though a man of means, Pepys clearly did not spend any of his fortune on bathing. He was already hard, as Nancy took his fat, sweaty cock and gently pulled the foreskin back. All of it was covered by a thick layer of yellowish-white smegma.
“Ahh there it is, the treasure I seek, Master Pepys!” She smiled. “My, you hath made so much!” She scooped some up on her finger and sucked it off. It tasted so good.
“Well my little vixen, you’d better hurry and lick it all up!” He was genuinely delighted at her lack of disgust – recalling that time when he’d seduced Mrs Bagwell, she’d gagged when confronted with his smell.
“Mmm,” Nancy lowered her mouth over Pepys’ rancid member. Pure, unadulterated dick-stench. Glorious!
“Dear God!” He moaned, placing his hand on her head as she eagerly fellated mersin escort him. Fortune indeed that he’d delayed having a wash. And how Nancy loved the taste of Pepys’ dirty cock cheese. She varied her technique, sucking fast, then slowing down. She licked all round the head of his cock, and felt all that delicious smegma adhere to her tongue.
“Thanks for the cheese Master Pepys,” Nancy said, withdrawing from his cock. She licked his filthy goodness off her lips. She reclined on a chair and lifting her long skirt up, exposed herself to him. “Now I have a gift for you.”
Pepys didn’t need any encouragement. A mixture of piss and sweat assaulted his nose, getting stronger, the closer he approached her bush. With that, he flung off his wig and shoved his face in her cunny. He gave a few licks and then parted her fleshy lips with chubby fingers, exposing the pink within and quite a bit of white discharge. He dived in, eager for more, and lapped up her pungent juices, before raising his head. His cock throbbed like crazy. Pepys fell atop Nancy and fumbled briefly at her breasts, kneading the soft skin in his fingers, then shoved his stinking cock inside her equally pungent cunt without ceremony – thus, Pepys buried some cheese of a different kind.
Nancy didn’t make too much noise, presumably because of Elizabeth being upstairs, but Pepys cared not. This girl was incredible! Her hands clasped his arse as he fucked her hard, savouring each other’s body odour until Nancy whimpered and climaxed. He soon followed and spewed his seed inside her. Pepys no longer worried about impregnating other women. For years, he’d tried in vain to father a child with his wife. He was convinced this was a punishment from God; in reality the operation to remove his bladder stone had likely rendered him infertile.
Nancy had one more surprise for Pepys as he pulled out, she released a wave of hot fragrant piss on his cock.
“Just giving you a wash, Master Pepys!”
He chuckled, knowing that it would be a bloody long time before his wife would ever allow him back into the bedchamber.